SO WHY DO I THINK I CAN HELP

So why do I think I can help just about anyone with a personal problem or situation that is

keeping them up at night or just has them in conflict about their direction in life.

I have faced my share of situations in life not as dramatic or crippling as some but in ways, for

me, life changing experiences that have knocked me backwards a few steps and others that

have kicked me forward when all I wanted to do was just sit and coast in my own misery.

sometimes you get stuck in life and it takes a good swift kick in your ego to wake you up!

I started out as a number 2 child in a family of 5. With an older sister - I was the first boy with 3

more boys to follow. We were a perfect “Norman Rockwell” family.

We lived in a stable household and we had more than some and less than others - a typical

middle class family growing up in the 50’s and 60’s.

Looking back in time at the area (Midwest) and period “The 60’s” it’s in someway no wonder

that I would gravitate towards drugs and sex - two strong addictions for a young adolescent boy

from the midwestern suburbs of Minneapolis.

Men/Boys in their late teens and early 20’s were returning from the war in Vietnam and bringing

back all kinds of drugs and other bad habits to share with young impressionable minds, drugs,

sex and lots of thoughts about rebellion and the war and the country was very mixed up. Things

were mixed up everywhere for especially I think young boys.

I feel into a group of friends that pretty much dropped out of what would have been considered a

normal progression forward in life at that time. School was not important and in many ways,

family wasn’t important and I think that between the age of 14 and at least 19 or 20 I was

extremely mixed up with drugs, sex and rebelling against authority and it contributed to a lot of

confusion and unrest in my life for many years.

My first marriage was way too early in my life - I was still a child in my teens in many ways

emotionally, even though I was in my late 20’s. My wife left me with two young children - a

daughter aged 5 and a young son age 4. I became a single parent overnight - I was not

prepared in any way for sole legal and physical custody and needed to shape up. I thought my

wife had gone crazy at the time but the reality is - she was also not ready emotionally to be in a

marriage and needed to grow up.

I stopped drinking, drugs and smoking and chewing tobacco that next day - for real - and tried to

become the best father I could be. Like parents everywhere there is no rule book - it’s on the job

learning. I was in a crash course and was learning every day - two steps ahead - one step back.

I think I grew up in stages for the first 30-40 years of life - a second marriage - more of a friend

ship that was never going to work as a marriage. To many different life goals - she had older

girls that really weren’t on board - a couple of years later that ended as well.

The years went by life continued to change and I continued to grow up - (I’ll never grow up in to

an adult but I’m ok with the kid inside of me now - he’s fun and emotionally healthy)

I finally did meet my third wife - a strong woman who was raised in a way in which we get each

other - we are best friends and watch each others backs and in life that is a blessing - it allows a

freedom that is had to find.

Kids growing up, healthier friendships, learning about trust and giving - I found again something

I had know about briefly in collage during one of my psychology internships - I was/am

extremely empathetic person - when I was in collage and much younger and less emotionally

developed I could not understand how to create “emotional walls” to protect myself from being

overwhelmed by the emotional energy being absorbed by listening to an others emotional pain.

This extreme empathy could be overwhelming at times, making it difficult for me to separate my

feelings from those of others. Yet, now it also allows me to connect with people on a deeper

level and understand them better while not allowing myself to become lost in their pain.

I purposely use the word “Pain” - (to me that is how it feels) - my goal is to try to heal the pain -

sometimes the emotional pain is shielded so well within an individual that they really don’t know

where all of this emotion stems from.

I am an Emotional Health Empath - I will work to find the real root cause of the pain - it’s never

as simple “ok now I know why I can’t sleep at night” or “now I know why I cry at the little things”